Nesting
by Alexi-Dove
Summary: After a few weeks of sticking around the safehouse, Cloud and Kadaj decide to come home. Unbeknownst to them, Cid, Yuffie, Vincent and Red have decided to stay for a few days to help them settle in. Tifa, however, hasn't said a word. The sequel to Poison.
1. Straight From the Chocobo's Beak

Nesting

Chapter 1: Straight From the Chocobo's Beak

"Hello! This is Kadaj.In case you're wondering, Cloud can't come to the phone right now. He's busy, though I will not hazard to guess with what." The teen giggled smugly. "Leave a message if you want, and I will _personally_ make sure he gets back to you."

Yuffie snapped the phone shut and tossed it onto the table with a huge smirk. "See? Think they're, you know, together?" She went red and tittered helplessly at the thought.

Cid hardly looked surprised at all, just took a long drag from his current cigarette, leaned back in his chair and nodded satisfactorily, "I knew he was gay."

Vincent's bright red eyes widened considerably in startlement. He folded his hands primly on the table, the fingers of his claw clicking lightly on the wood. "How?"

"Isn't it obvious? The whole affection-starved pretty-boy attitude, the clothes, the hair! Geeze! Does nobody but me notice these things?" The pilot threw his hands up in exasperation as Vincent shook his head numbly and Yuffie once again dissolved into helpless giggles behind her hands.

"I'm not sure I understand." Red said calmly, fiery tail flicking from side to side. "Why would a male want to mate with another male? They can't have cubs, can they?"

Yuffie was shrieking with laughter by now, face bright red with embarrassment. Vincent had gone even whiter than usual. Cid rolled his eyes at the absurdity of it all. "There are lots of things you don't understand Red. Hell, there're lots of things I don't understand. Some guys just like other guys. That's the way nature works."

"I know something interesting!" Yuffie suddenly piped up, gasping for breathe. "Forty-five percent of all ducks are homosexual."

The young shinobi's companions were silent, staring at her.

"What?" She glared at the two men and lion-like creature. "It was on Animal Planet."

Cid snorted. "Kid watches too much TV."

Yuffie stuck her tongue out at the blonde man, and then straightened up, looking around with surprise. "Hey, where'd Tifa go?"

"She left before you started dialing the number." Vincent said, staring at the Wutaian girl pointedly. "You know she isn't taking this well."

"Oh." Yuffie sat down hard in her chair."Gaia. I hadn't realized."

"She'll have to get over it eventually, kid. Don't worry too much." Cid grinned crookedly at her over the table.

Silence ensued as Yuffie lost herself in guilty thoughts. Vincent said nothing, but then, he rarely did, so that wasn't much of a surprise.

"Call them again." Red said, breaking the uneasy quiet. He stretched languidly and resettled on the carpet. "Tell them they need to come back."

All three humans glanced at the fiery creature apprehensively before their eyes flicked back to the stylish black phone on the tabletop. Yuffie's eyes flew from Vincent's crimson ones to Cid's sky-blue. Neither of them made a move.

"_Run away, run away, run away and save your life. Run away, run away, run away if you want to survive. Run away, run away, run away and save you life. Run away, run away, run away if you—"_

The phone sang to life, making all four of the Avalanche members jump. Though it was her phone, Yuffie made no move to answer it. Cid snatched it up with a snarl, flipped it open and pressed it to his ear.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end of the phone was unmistakable.

"Oh. Cloud. Hi." Cid said, barely believing that it was actually the ex-Soldier's voice. All previous attempts at contacting Cloud had only been answered by stony silence. Until Kadaj's message had shown up today, at least.

"Have you been trying to call?" The spiky-haired swordsman's voice sounded concerned.

"No _shit_. Every day for the past two weeks." The pilot said, keeping his voice uncharacteristically calm and seething with worry at the same time.

"I'm sorry. I've been busy."

"So we've heard." Cid practically growled. "We—"

"—who ya talkin' too, Cloud?" He was cut off by the same, cynical, purring voice that they had heard before that evening.

"IT'S FUCKING FLYBOY HIGHWIND AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT, PRETTY BOY!!" He shouted into the communication device. There was silence, both on the other end of the phone and in the room where Cid was sitting. Pleased with himself, Cid put his feet up on the table and continued in a much softer voice, "Anyways, we want you to come home. Both of you. That means _you_ too, pretty boy."

More silence. And then Cloud's voice came again, incredulous and disbelieving. "Really?"

"Yeah, o'course! Can't live without ya, Cloud! We'd like to accept your friend into our little family too, if you'd like." He broke into a crooked grin, echoed happily by Yuffie. Even the corners of Vincent's usually solemn mouth was quirking upward, if only at the corners.

"Great!" The swordsman was ecstatic. "We'll be home tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, if you want us back so bad..."

"Well yeah, but... tomorrow...?"

"Is there a problem?"

"No, no, of course not." He said archly. _Just Tifa._

"Great! HEY KADAJ, GUESS WHAT!!"

"See you and the pretty boy tomorrow then." Cid flipped the phone shut with a groan. "I think we have a problem, kids..."

- - - - -

Notes: Not much to say, yet again, only that I'm happy to finally be getting this up.

Yayz! I have lots of ideas and stuff, so I promise you won't be dissapointed.

If you're confused and have no idea what's happening, then you should probably go read _Poison_...

Many apologies if Cid or Yuffie or any of them are OOC... haven't played the game in a LONG time.

Also, I will be leaving for to Staff for a Leadership Camp in about two weeks, so I might be a little slow to update...

Much love,

-Dove

(D-O-V-E. Got it memorized?)


	2. Friends O' Mine

Chapter 2: Friends O' Mine

It turned out that the "safe house" was dug into the side of a hill way out in the wastes around Midgar. When Cloud had first let him outside, the day after they had confessed their love for each other, Kadaj had been overjoyed. However, there wasn't much to do out in the waste but count pebbles and run around aimlessly and the novelty wore off soon.

And then of course there came the day not long after when the phone rang, yet again when they were in the middle of something. A few minutes later, Cloud had decided to call back, for he was getting tired of his silver-haired lover whining at him about how rude it was to never reply to his many messages.

Today they were leaving for Edge. Kadaj was extremely anxious, leaping up wild-eyed at the slightest noise. After about half an hour of this jumpy nonsense, Cloud decided that he had had enough. He waited for the right moment to come and pounced, throwing his arms tightly around the younger man's waist. Kadaj screamed shrilly and tried to jerk away, only to find himself firmly restrained in the circle of Cloud's arms. The blonde's laughter surrounded him.

"Cloud, you're _horrible_!" he wailed, twisting around and returning the embrace.

"Nervous?" the blonde laughed again and rubbed his nose against Kadaj's.

"Oh, just a little." Kadaj grinned. "I was being sarcastic, by the way."

"After spending two weeks with _you_, I think I understand sarcasm thoroughly, you silly little bitch." Cloud poked the younger man in the ribs, making him squeak and flinch away.

"I am insulted." The silver-haired young man turned his back to Cloud and crossed his arms. He glanced over his shoulder and found the older man's eyes glued to his hips. He shifted his weight to his other foot experimentally and snorted when the ex-Soldier's eyes widened.

"I can't help it." Cloud whined. "They're just so girly. And by the way..." He snickered. "Watcha gonna do with all that ass, all that ass inside them jeans?"

"I'm'a make, make, make, make you scream, make you scream, make you scream!" Kadaj crowed back, laughing. It was a running game between the two of them. One would sing a part of one song and the other would have to complete it of forfeit the secret of a mattress trick or submit to the whims of the other for the night.

Kadaj smirked and sang again in a high, perky voice, punctuating his words with random little dance moves. "I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot! I'm bitchin', great hair, the boys all love to stare! I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not! I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate this school! Who am I? Just guess! Guys wanna touch my chest! I'm rockin', I smile, and many think I'm vile! I'm flyin', I jump, you can look but don't you hump! I'm major, I roar, I swear I'm not a whore! We cheer and we lead! We act like we're on speed!" He paused, breathless and waited for Cloud's answer.

"Hate us 'cause we're beautiful, well we don't like you either! We're cheerleaders! We are cheerleaders!" The blonde replied swiftly, smirking.

"Oh my god, you've actually seen that movie!?" Kadaj laughed. "The great Cloud Strife, a Bring It On fan? I never would have guessed!"

Cloud stuck his tongue out in an uncharacteristic gesture of annoyance. "Let's go."

- - - - -

It was true that Tifa was not taking the news of Cloud's new lover well. It was also true that she had not moved from the sofa in the front room since Yuffie had tried calling the ex-Soldier the last time and had no idea that he was coming home. So there she sat the next morning, unmoving.

Marlene came up at one point with a doll in her arms and sat next to Tifa for a while. Neither said anything for the longest time, and when the girl finally deigned to speak it was in a very quiet voice, and the only word Tifa caught was 'Cloud.'

"What was that sweetie?" she asked, forcing herself to sound calm and happy.

"Cloud is coming home today," Marlene said slowly, pretending to concentrate on her doll. "And he's bringing someone special with him."

The dark-haired martial artist was silent for a long time. "Who told you that Marlene?"

"Vincent."

Tifa fell silent again, pondering. What did it mean? Were Vincent and the others actually going to support Cloud's little shenanigans with that silver-haired bitch?

Just then there was a loud knock at the door. There was a shriek from somewhere upstairs, that was probably Yuffie. More shouts followed, and there was the sound of pounding feet on the stairs.

Tifa got up numbly and went to answer the door. Marlene followed, silently. The martial artist opened the door a fraction, and then a bit wider when she recognized the spiky blonde hair of her childhood friend.

Cloud stepped inside with a nervous smile, feeling Tifa's wine-colored eyes sweep over him and Kadaj sullenly. "Hi Tif—"

Just then Yuffie hurtled down the hallway and threw her arms around Cloud's neck, the force of her hug driving him back a step. He burst out laughing and swung the young Wutain around in a circle, overjoyed that someone, at least, was happy to see him. Cid, Red, and Denzel followed at a more stately pace, Vincent trailing along behind. They traded greetings politely, Cloud's smile so big it almost popped off his face.

Then Cid leaned over to the side a little and squinted at Kadaj, who had been hiding behind his lover almost the entire time. "That him? Come here, you."

Kadaj, who had no choice but to obey, inched out from behind Cloud and stood as tall as he could, nervous under the Avalanche member's inspection.

"You eighteen, boy?" Cid asked.

"Yes." _Sir_. Kadaj added metally, afraid to voice his usual cynicism around the pilot.

Cid glared at him for a moment longer and then clapped him roughly on the shoulder, causing the teenager to stagger sideways. "Glad to have you aboard, pretty boy."

Yuffie, of course, immediately jumped on him with a tight hug. "I just love you already!"

Red stared at him curiously and offered his greetings. Vincent said nothing, but his mouth quirked up at the corner, and Kadaj instantly decided that he liked the quiet man. He met Denzel and Marlene, and was introduced to Tifa, though the only greeting she had to offer was a cold glare and a stiff handshake.

Everyone dissapated back into the house within a few moments after that. Cloud turned to Kadaj, still smiling. "Well? What do you think?"

Kadaj felt a grin appear on his face. "I think I'm going to like it here."

- - - - -

Notes:

Thank you too:

Barney the Dinosaur, for loving me.

My muses, Flagg and Genji, for deciding to come out from under the bed.

Gaara and Rock Lee, for being awesome.

Britney Spears, for singing Oops! I Did It Again. (I love that song, even if Britney isn't that... _great_ of a person.)

Bowling for Soup, who wrote the song _Friends O' Mine_.

Wolfsong and Klakie and Parker, for being my friendies!

All my loverly readers, for, you know, reading my stuff.

Ciao for now!

-Dove


	3. Christmas in September

Chapter 3: Christmas in September

As it usually happened, Kadaj woke up first. He sat up groggily, wondering where he was and why he still had all of his clothes on. He lay back with a soft sigh as the memories flooded back. This was Cloud's house, Cloud's room, Cloud's bed. Last night the blonde had stopped Kadaj mid-seduction, explaining that Yuffie had probably installed a hidden camera somewhere in the room, and they shouldn't do anything too serious until they found it.

Speaking of Cloud...the silver-haired teenager crawled over to his lover and poked him in the ribs, "Cloud?"

Cloud snorted in his sleep and rolled over. Kadaj frowned and poked him a little harder. "Cloud? Cloud!"

The swordsman did nothing.

"Well, if you insist, I'll just have to shower by myself..."

Again, nothing. Cloud must have been under more stress than he had admitted to be exhausted like this. Kadaj gave his lover a sympathetic nuzzle and hopped over to the bathroom for a shower.

Cloud was still asleep when his silver-haired love threw open the curtains about a half an hour later.

"Wake up, Spiky!" Kadaj called cheerily, flicking damp silver tresses from his eyes. "The sun has come to see you!"

Cloud growled something about how the sun could take its happy rays and shove them up its happy ass before turning over yet again. Kadaj stalked over to the bed, flipped the older man onto his back, and climbed into a sitting position on his chest. "Cloud. You need to get up and eat something. Now."

The ex-Soldier glared up at him sourly, sapphire eyes rimmed with red. "You really are an ass in the morning. Did you know that?"

Smiling sweetly, Kadaj brought one of Cloud's hands to his own well-formed backside. "I thought you loved my ass...?"

Cloud chuckled, giving the former remnant a playful swat before sitting up and cuddling with him. "How about a good-morning kiss?"

"Will you take a shower?"

"What's the point if it's not with you?" he pouted.

"Hate to break it to you precious, but most people take showers to get clean, not dirty." Kadaj smirked and slid off the bed.

"Hey, what about my kiss!?" The blonde protested.

"You'll get it when you come downstairs, clean!" Pretending to be deaf to Cloud's disgruntled mutterings, Kadaj took the stairs two at a time. He passed Tifa in the hall, tossing her a confused glance when she scowled at him.

He took her recently vacated chair at the kitchen table. "Good morning."

"Mornin', pretty-boy." Cid muttered over the top of a very large newspaper. Marlene smiled shyly at him over the table, but Denzel seemed to absorbed in his pancakes to do anything else. Vincent was humming dreamily at the stove, cooking. His cloak was hung over the back of one of the chairs, and he looked, if at all possible, quite tame without it.

Kadaj beamed at Marlene, happy that she was glad to see him, and then said to the part of the pilot's head that was sticking out over the top of the paper, "I do have a name, you know."

Cid folded his paper and crossed his arms. "My apologies. What was it? Cabbage?"

"Kadaj, actually," the former remnant forced a grin, thanking Vincent politely when the man set a large plate of breakfast down in front of him.

Cid snorted. "Kiss-ass."

Kadaj decided to ignore the man's comment, instead asking, "Where are Red and Yuffie?"

"Red had to go back to Cosmo early. Some kind of emergency or somethin'."

"And Yuffie?" Kadaj speared a sausage and dipped it in his maple syrup.

"Sleeps in."

"I see." Breakfast continued in silence for a while, Vincent eventually getting his own food together and sitting down. The dark-haired man glanced critically over at Denzel, eyeing the untouched eggs on his plate. "Denzel, how about you eat those eggs?" he suggested quietly. The boy looked up with a disgusted look on his face.

Kadaj tutted softly. Denzel stared at the silver-haired man for a few seconds, and then began to shovel the greasy yellow lumps into his mouth as if they were toxic waste. In a matter of minutes, his plate was clean and he was rinsing it off in the sink.

Cid watched it all with wide eyes, and when the two children had left the room, he barked, "Dammit, I've never been able to get that boy to eat his eggs!"

Smirking smugly, Kadaj took his own plate to the sink. "I like children."

The teenager strode down the hall, in the direction of the stairs, intent on seeing where Cloud had gotten too. Just before the turn onto the stairs he heard two voices; one he recognized as Cloud's immediately, though the other he had trouble recognizing. It dawned on him that he hadn't heard Tifa speak yet, and concluded that it must be her. He sank into the shadows and listened, trying to catch what they were saying.

"I said _no_, Tifa."

"But Cloud—"

"_No_."

The dark-haired woman whirled around the corner, cheeks red, eyes glittering with tears. She rushed past Kadaj without noticing him. Cloud followed a few seconds later, looking more than a little angry. Kadaj stepped out of the shadows. "Cloud?"

"Oh!" The blonde swordsman stepped back, surprised. "Kadaj!"

The younger man smiled, a little perplexed, and slipped his arms around his lover's shoulders. "What was that all about?"

Cloud sighed, pulling Kadaj into a tight hug. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

The swordsman sighed again. "Tifa wanted me to take her back."

"What?" Kadaj pulled back slightly. "You were never together, were you?"

"Not according to her. She's not really taking 'us' well."

"Oh, I'm sorry," the younger man said. "I hope we can, um...work it out."

Cloud startled his lover with a laugh. "You sound just like Zack!"

"Who?"

"Don't ask," Cloud chuckled a little. "How about that kiss, then?"

"My pleasure," Kadaj purred, tilting his head up to meet Cloud's lips with his own. It turned fast and hot quickly, the two men's tongues writhing and twisting around each other, Cloud squeezing his lover's waist seductively.

Suddenly, two large hands grabbed both of their collars, pulling them apart.

"GET! A! FUCKING! ROOM!" Cid shouted, punctuating each word with a violent shake. "THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS HOUSE!"

He let them go then, and stomped upstairs, grumbling something about perverts.

Both Cloud and Kadaj were blushing, Cloud perhaps a little more so. He cleared his throat, trying not to burst out laughing. "I'm going to go get some breakfast."

"Well...have fun with that. I'll go start unpacking." Kadaj giggled and began climbing the stairs.

About halfway up he was stopped by Yuffie. She looked a little disheveled, her hair ribbon crooked. "Hey, Kadaj!"

"Yeah?"

"I bought a present for you a while back. Wanna see it?" The young Wutaiian smirked impishly.

"A present? For me?" Kadaj was confused as to what warranted this sudden kindness.

"Well, mostly for you, but also for Cloud." Her grin widened.

It took Kadaj a minute to understand, but when he did, he smirked back at her conspiratorially. "Oh, for the both of us, you say? Who's the pervert now?"

"At least I don't try to seduce my partner on the stairs," she giggled. "Do you want it or not?"

"Why not?" The former remnant heaved a great sigh and followed Yuffie up to her room. She brought out a large box and handed it to him, eyes sparkling devilishly.

"How about you try it on?" She asked sweetly.

"Try...it on?"

"Yeah."

"All right," the teen was thoroughly curious by now. He retreated to his own shared room with Cloud and opened the box. Inside he found a pair of black leather short-shorts, leather arm- and ankle- bands, and a leather collar. Kadaj paused to contemplate the significance of the various leather items.

Then, he stripped and struggled into the tight black garments. He opened the door and let Yuffie oogle him. "What do you think?"

She grinned, averting her eyes. "I think there's a reason Cloud likes you."

The silver-haired man laughed. "Any other secret plots you would like to discuss?"

"Well, I was planning to get everyone out of the house for a few hours, except for you and Cloud. Maybe." Yuffie winked.

"I think that's a fine idea."

- - - - -

Notes: Ha, I bet you all thought I was dead, didn't you?

I must admit the Kadaj's happy-cutesy-polite-ness is a bit out of character...

Maybe he's on medication...? XD (-joking-)

Hope you enjoy this chapter, I had fun writing it. Only two or three more to go.

I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get them done faster then this one. :)

Happy to hear from you!

Ciao for now,

-Dove

P.S. I insist you go watch this youtube video. It is most definitely the best I've ever seen.

Go to youtube and search for "boogie wonderland advent children." It'll probably be one of the first ones. Um... I think it's by hewiealbino. I think.


	4. Snakes Without Wings

Chapter 4: Snakes Without Wings

Kadaj and Yuffie schemed for a while, figuring out the logistics of their evil plan. Kadaj had to change back into normal clothes about five minutes into their plotting, because she _would not stop looking at him_. He had walked around the safe-house without a shirt on a few times before, and even Cloud hadn't stared at him that much.

"So that's settled then?" he asked as the young Wutaiian stepped haughtily out the door.

"Yes. I'll get everyone out to go see a movie or something in an hour, and then you and Cloud can have as much _fun _as you want." She grinned.

_(She's only a year or so younger than me for all her wickedness.)_ Kadaj mused, chuckling softly. He couldn't talk; he had tried to take over the world at eighteen, but it still frightened him a little.

He followed scarce moments later, maybe to see how Cloud was doing with breakfast. He seemed to be all right, though there was a stony silence across the table between the blonde swordsman and Tifa. She was sipping some kind of fruit juice. It's bright red color was irritatingly fake.

Cloud seemed relieved to see him. He hooked the younger man around the neck to pull him down for an innocent kiss on the cheek. "Hey," he said tiredly.

"Hey yourself." Kadaj purred teasingly. He rubbed his nose affectionately against his lover's before seating himself in the chair next to Cloud's.

Tifa smiled at Kadaj across the table. It seemed to be an innocent enough gesture, but something glittered coldly in her eyes that Kadaj did not like at all. He saw the hatred in that glitter. It wasn't his nature to back down from a fight though.

The former remnant tossed Tifa a smirk and laid his head on Cloud's shoulder. He sighed happily. "Sometimes I wish I was a seahorse."

"Why—?" Cloud returned the cuddle, but was cut off when Yuffie popped into the room.

"Hey, Cloud, come talk to me for a sec', 'kay?" she said before bouncing off down the hallway.

The swordsman sighed and followed her. He paused at the door frame to look back, concerned for Kadaj's safety. The silver-haired teen arched an eyebrow and gave him the old hey-guess-what-biatch-I'm-Kadajgrin. Cloud sighed and shook his head, but went away without another word.

"I must say congratulations are in order."

Kadaj turned to find Tifa running a hand through the sleek, black sheet of her hair. "What was that?"

"I _said_, 'Congatulations are in order.'" She smiled that same deadly smile at him. "Get the picture, precious?"

"For what?" He said, leveling his cool, green gaze at her, instantly suspicious. Something about the way she was so relaxed and all smiles made him uneasy.

"Well for Cloud, of course. Looks like you nabbed him after all."

"I wasn't trying to _nab_ anybody." Kadaj's voice was a near growl. It didn't take much to irritate him, and Tifa was going overboard with the whole cutesy innocent voice.

"Oh, let me fill you in on something, hon." She leaned forward conspiratorially, the poster-child of charitability. "We are all trying to nab someone of something. And I must say, the whole pathetic, miniature-Sephiroth thing totally worked. Cloud likes to fix things. Save them. I was always too strong for him. He would rather have someone who he can save from their own pitifullness on a daily basis. A little _geisha _of his very own." She took a long pull from the straw of her drink between thin pink lips.

Kadaj did not respond or rebut Tifa's characterization of him. He was so angry that he might be tempted to do something insane—something like screaming delectably profane insults while ramming his fingers into the glassy burgundy marbles of her eyes.

"Can I give you a piece of advice?" she asked.

He folded his arms over his chest and glared at her pointedly. She took that as a yes.

"You may want to—hmm—stay up-to-date on the... art of love. Cloud may act like a chocobo out of bed, but I think we both know he's a wolf between the sheets." It was a wild guess on her part, that much Kadaj knew, but a rather accurate one. And even though he knew it was a lie, it still stung.

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind," he snapped. Kadaj had had enough. He stood, meaning to walk away, not wanting to stoop to her level. He did want too, actually, but he wouldn't if only for Cloud's sake.

"Yeah, he was a real wolf. You'd think he hadn't been laid in ages," Tifa purred.

Kadaj paused.

"I mean, doing it against the wall would never be my first choice; all that dirt, you know? But it did add a certain _something _to the whole thing. I guess screwing in the dark ten feet from everybody else kind of turns me on."

The former remnant leaned over the table to look her straight in the eyes.

"Cloud like it rough, you know?" She laughed in that high, lilting voice. "He's quite the closet kink!"

"Tifa"—the name tasted like sour wine on Kadaj's tongue—"Cloud told me how you threw yourself at his feet. If you're trying to shock me, don't bother."

"Oh, is that what he told you?" She tilted her head to the side and smirked. "Well the way I remember it, it was more of the other way around. I'm sorry to break this too you, but he was _begging_ me for a good fuck." Her eyes hardened into two shiny circles of onyx. "Something he'd never be able to get from you."

Kadaj closed his eyes for a split second, willing his body not to betray him. He knew that Cloud had not lied to him. He also knew that his lover was not stupid enough to spear his heart like that and face his wrath. No, the blame here did not lie with Cloud. It was instead this _creature_ who called herself a woman that needed to be taught a lesson.

Quick as a thought, with the dexterity and grace of the swordsman he was, Kadaj plucked the ridiculous fruity red drink from Tifa's fingers and poured it down the front of her stupid, too-big boob-things.

"Go to hell, you lying, plastic, hardcore wannabe, village bicycle, fake breasted, hard-up, pathetic little _whore_. Oh, and Teef? I'm not Sephiroth, I'm _Kadaj_." He spoke slowly and clearly, enunciating each syllable to make sure she understood. "There's this old proverb I know. Gaia did not give wings to serpents. _No_. They seem a little scary at first, but look at how small they are, how bitter and ugly. They just have to slither around in everyone else's business, waiting for the chance to bite someone." He smiled, showing more than a little fang. "Don't it just suck to be a bottom-feeder? Don't it just?"

With that, Kadaj spun on his heel and stalked away, head held high and proud like some great cat, silver hair flying out behind him like the mane of a lion. He ascended the stairs calmly, chuckling softly to himself, a little of the old Kadaj returning.

Yuffie would be announcing the "field-trip" in about ten minutes and discreetly hint to Cloud about a surprise waiting for him in his room. Kadaj smirked impishly. He had a few things to get ready.

- - - - -

Notes:

Hahaha. Bet you were waiting for this, weren't you?

Short, only two and a half pages on word, but exciting, neh?

Anyways, the next chapter will be FULL of smuttiness.

And you're waiting for that too, aren't you, you perverts?

But then again, I am writing it, so I guess I'm the biggest pervert of all XD

And don't worry, my loves, I will not be leaving after this is finished.

My brain is chock full of horrible things, so you'll be seeing plenty of me around.

Love,

Dove


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